For further information, consult God. --Ashleigh Brilliant

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I swear to God, if I never see the inside of another courtroom again it would be too soon. But I do know that I will have to go again on the 13th at least. I had to testify in front of a grand jury yesterday and it wasn't as scary as I expected. It was actually kinda cool. I got to raise my right hand and promise that I was speaking the truth and everything. The prosecutor was very "Law & Order" sounding, but cool. I'm sure I can say that because it's not me he's trying to bury, if I was in the defendant's chair I would probably have felt different. I was in and out in less than 15 minutes. Never before had that ever happened. Of course I left there and had to sit in another courtroom for about 3 hours. Now that's more like I expect, but the desired result was achieved so it's all good. My cousin's a lawyer so I've always respected them, but with all the goings on in my life, I have rediscovered my respect for them. No more lawyer jokes. At least for a week.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I have been going through a serious depression. It sucks. The one person I thought would never hurt me did so in such a way that I'm not sure if I will ever recover. But don't cry for me. I will survive. I did my nails yesterday (I like to wear tips) and they do look good if I may say so myself. I got all pretty and went and signed up with a couple of temp agencies. I need to work to get my mind off my loss and plus Christmas and my daughter's birthday is coming. We need the extra money, especially with the new baby coming.
My hubby is drinking again. Heavy. I am very worried about him. He does really stupid things when he drinks and we all usually end up paying for it. Alcoholics hurt more than just theirselves when they drink. It does explain his mood of late. Oh well, somehow some way this too shall pass.

Friday, September 02, 2005

I have discovered the source of my unhappiness and the cause of so much pain in the past couple of weeks and it goes by the name of addiction. Not mine, but someone close to me. Hindsight may be 20/20 but intuition is dead-on. I was so focused on everything else that I ignored the warning signs until it's too late. Is it ever too late? Maybe not for the person suffering from the addiction, but definitely for our relationship. Too much hurt. Too much betrayal. Too much time in court and with lawyers, cops, etc. I am now going through the grieving process because what was once on of the biggest parts of my life is now dead to me.