EBONYBLUE

For further information, consult God. --Ashleigh Brilliant

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I'm usually pretty liberal, and live by the idea that "you do you and let me do me", but I must confess something. Actually 2 things. One, I have never watched Star Wars or any of those movies and I have no desire to. It's not that I'm not a science fiction fan. It's not my favorite genre, but I love Star Trek, I enjoy reading Octavia Butler, I started watching Star Wars once and promptly lost interest and have never gone back. My husband loves them and he watched Episode I last weekend and thought I'd give it a try again. No go. I promptly lost interest, so I think it's safe to say that I will never enjoy Star Wars.
My second confession is I hate to see women breastfeeding their children in public. I have no desire to see another woman's tit, no matter what the circumstance may be. Don't get me wrong, I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing. I attempted to breastfeed all 3 of my children (not so successful the first time and only partially the 3rd time) and I will try it again with baby number 4. There were times when I had to do it while we were out. I would first go check out the bathroom, some take the special needs of women into consideration and have very nice sofas, etc. And I don't buy that argument that people don't eat in the bathroom, why should we make our babies. It's not like I dragged my tit around the toilet seat before I stuck it in my baby's mouth. If there was no bathroom and I had to do it out where people were, I always covered myself with a light blanket. I have seen women just whip their breast out. And I don't buy the if you don't want to see it look away argument. That only works if you shout out a warning, if I just happen to be looking in that direction and you whip your boob out, the unwanted visual is already in my head before I could look away. Feed your baby, I do. Just cover up.
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Friday, May 20, 2005

My life in song...

"Don't Speak"

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
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Thursday, May 19, 2005

My sister is the director at my kids day care (sorry, child care "we take care of children, not days" whatever.) and when I went to pick the boys up yesterday she had a cute little kids book called Mommy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole. Now I'm not usually a prude, but I would be upset if my daughter had shown me this book. She knows about sex, she knows how babies are made, she knows about changes that will soon be happening to her 8 year old body, it's not that big of deal if she sees a rated R movie, I have tons of gay friends, black friends, white friends, yada, yada, yada, but I'm not so sure I want her to be able to get this book off the library shelf. I don't want her seeing a woman standing on her head having sex, no matter how childlike the drawings are. I really don't mind if she reads a book that has the word "penis", but do she need to see a drawing of people having sex in various positions to know where babies come from? I'm so liberal I lean when I walk, but I remember when the library used to set up where you couldn't go and get a Nancy Friday book off the shelf. Or The Joy of Sex. It was available, as well they should be, but sexually explicit books were not on the shelf. As a parent you decided what your child could read. What happened to those days? I always felt comfortable knowing that while there were books on the birds and the bees, different types of families, etc, my kids wouldn't be picking up anything explicit. No more taking the rugrats to the kids section and saying, "Go pick out your books."
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Every time I say the words, "I'm pregnant," I think about Whoopi Goldberg's routine, "Like Mary was with Jesus except I know who the father is." She's funny. I washed dishes for the first time in 2 days last night and then fell into bed exhausted. By the time I walk up the stairs to our place, I have to sit down and rest. My alarm goes off at 4:30am and I am still trying to wake myself up by the time I have to leave at 6:30. It could be worse, I could be one of those ladies that puke all the time, so I'm not complaining too loudly, but it so damn frustrating when you can't walk 3 steps without being totally worn out. It was like this with my other 3 kids, and apparently it will be like this with this last one. It's only noon and already I'm exhausted. When I fall asleep before my husband comes to bed and I get some, you know something's up, but then that's what got me in this condition in the first place, isn't it?
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

June 7th is National Hunger Day. I'm sure it's not too late to go to www.hungerday.org to see how you can help in your community.
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Yeah, leave it to me to screw up changing my template. I lost everything, so I'm starting from scratch. Any suggestions for pages to link to?
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I think it's finally starting to sink n. I am pregnant with my 4th child. What the hell were we thinking. Actually that's not fair. I was taking the Pill, so we weren't being reckless and foolish. We just got pregnant. Wow. I truly don't know how we are going to handle it. My hands are so full right now with the 3 kids, this is really going to take it's toll on me. I am really going to have to buckle down and get the kids more involved in helping out around the house. They do now, but not on a regular basis. There's no way I can stay home after my year of service is up. We are going to need the second income, oh well.
My kids are getting very mouthy lately, my daughter especially and Bubba is just following her lead. I don't know if it's because she's just getting to that age or what, but I'm old school when it comes to raising kids. She will have no teeth in her head before I allow her to talk crazy to me. I'm all for expressing yourself, but I'll be danged if an 8 year is going to talk to me any ol way. I see these kids at the store telling their parents "no", or getting smart/talking back. Please. I only had to get knocked upside my head a couple of times before I realized it probably wasn't healthy to speak to my mother in such a way. And up until the day she died, no matter how much we fought, I never cursed in her presence or said anything of the wall. It drives me crazy when my husband cusses around his mother. He feels since he's grown that he can cuss, but as long as that woman is still his mother, he needs to show her that respect. Period. Yeah, I'm rambling.
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Thursday, May 12, 2005

I posted a couple of pictures of my rugrats from my cell phone over on my domestic site. That go.blogger.com is kinda cool.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I'm still upset the Fierce magazine is no longer in print. I haven't found anything to replace it with, any suggestions?
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Favorite summer flower: Black-eyed Susans.
Flavor of ice cream or tofutti: cookies & cream
Mode of transportation: car
Music: I've been on an R&B fix lately
Food: I love barbecue chicken pizza
Favorite game to play: I love to play anything with the kiddies
Earliest childhood summer memory: Playing tag and football with my friends
Favorite Drink: Vanilla Coke
Favorite Snack: Anything chocolate & peanut butter
Place to read: In my car. For some reason I get real comfortable and can read the most
Most annoying: Drop calls on my cell. It doesn't happen often, so when it does I get pretty heated
How I handle the heat: I love the heat, but in Ohio the humidity makes the heat unbearable. I stay inside as much as possible
Pet Peeve: When my husband pauses for about 15 seconds before he answers me
Mistake for which no one in my family will ever forgive you: I can't think of anything. I'm sure they can thin of several
All-time favorite bathing suit: Yeah, I haven't worn a bathing suit in I don't know how long
Best Time of Day: I come alive early-afternoon
Most romantic: Anything my husband does still gives me butterflies
Summer movie: Grease.
Best for sex: Late evening during a rain shower
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Someone was talking about Rush Limbaugh on the radio this morning. He is one of those people I wish would just go away. You would think the ACLU were in the same league as the Nazi's the way he used to slam them, until his drug habit came out then all of sudden they are representing him? Couldn't Karl Rove find him a good ol' Republican lawyer? Can't he just GO AWAY?
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Friday, May 06, 2005

I'm so glad Cinco de Mayo is over. 90% of the people who go out and get drunk don't even know why. It isn't Mexico's celebration of independence either. Now we get to look forward to Memorial Day which should be renamed National Cook out without Really Remembering Anyone Day. The joys of living in a self absorbed society. Am I getting cynical in my old age?
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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I am:
29%
Republican.
"You're probably one of those people who still thinks that getting a blowjob is not an impeachable offense."

Are You A Republican?
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I was following blogrolls reading different blogs and I was amazed at how gramatically correct some blogs are. Now there are plenty who are lil' dummies, but there are a large number who must sit down, write, edit, rewrite, proofread and rewrite again. Sentence structure is right on, language is fluent and easy to read. Subjects matter is well thought out and organize in concise, easy manners. Then you got me. I am a halfway decent writer. My college English professor called a meeting and was ready to do whatever she could to intervene if need be, simply because I received a C on a paper. I love to write, and I can do so in a consise and organized way if I have to, but I don't have to when I'm typing my blog, so why bother?
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I can't get enough sleep when I'm pregnant. I have to drive an hour each way to work and by the time I hit the 45 minute mark, I'm slapping myself to stay awake. I don't know what I'm going to do. Now I'm going to have to get up even earlier. I normally have to leave my house by 6:30 and I sleep in as long as possible. I don't know how I'm going to get up, but I have to so that I can eat. I've very lucky that my morning sickness is very easily controlled by keeping something on my stomach at all times. So as soon as I wake up, I have to eat something or I'm inspecting the inside of the toilet bowl. That's what I get for getting pregnant for the 4th time at 34 years old. It's all my husband's fault.
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