I love my kids. I truly do, but I look forward to the day they all move out, so that I know that when I put down my pen, keys, purse, change, gloves, they will be in the exact same spot when I go to retrieve them.

This is how AJ looked after his first day of kindergarten. He's going to a language immersion school*, so he didn't understand a word the teachers were saying anyways, but he didn't tell anyone that his head was hurting. So the teacher is speaking to him in a foreign language, he just wants to lay his head on the desk because it hurts, he wants to come home but can't and to top it all of the bus breaks down, so he spent over 3 hours on the bus. Needless to say he doesn't want to go back. My poor baby.
Three kids in school, two to go.

*He is learning French. A language I know nothing of besides "Bonjour!"

One day they may kill me for posting this, but I went to check on my kids before going to sleep and this is what I found. The apparently fell asleep while watching a movie and never made it to their own beds. That explains the Elmo sheets and Hello Kitty blanket and why they were in the same bed. I offer no explanation as to why AJ has his head buried in Bubba's butt.

My sister is headed to the airport. We had a great visit and it was nice to see all of them. We got into it because she wanted to buy my 12-year old daughter bootie shorts and a padded bra. I love my sister and I appreciate her spoiling my kiddos, but I don't need my daughter attracting the attention of men twice her age. She already looks 15 or more, my sister is trying to push that up. I can't take it. Do you other mothers allow your children to wear stuff like this? I know it's the current fad, but still. Do you think it matters if your child might be a little more developed than other girls her age. Do you think it matters if your child is more mature, or do you just say no?

And now we find out that her 17-year old daughter is 5 months pregnant?! You have got to be kidding me. What happened to the "moral majority" who blasted Brittany's little sister (can't remember her name) for being such a bad role model? Where was the forgiveness then? Wasn't it clever how she was almost always hiding her tummy by holding Trig? Granted Bristol's not running for office, but I watched CNN last night amazed when it was dismissed as a "childhood mistake" and everyone needs to stop making such a big deal about it. While you're pregnant it's a mistake, once you have that baby, it is no longer a mistake, it's a lifetime commitment. Shame on these people for wanting to dismiss it like it's no big deal. Teenage pregnancy (and the shotgun wedding to follow) is a huge deal and I just think it would be respectable to say, this girl screwed up, but let's not hold her mother responsible. Except I bet mommy's re-thinking that abstinence only and no sex in schools thing, huh?

I'm mad that she named her daughter Bristol anyways. And I pray that Track and Trig are just nicknames. My friend and I had this discussion the other night. Do parents really not care what they name their kids, or the nicknames they use? I have nicknames for all 5 of my kids. I do not use them in public. I don't want AJ to abandon me in the old folks home one day because I called him Tootie Booty in public. My neighbor calls her son Fat Fat. He's not fat, it's just what she called him as a baby and it stuck. Cute at home, not cute in public. And I was flipping through the channels and there was a lady who called herself Pokey Jones. What? If you can buy a beer in a bar, it's not cute to refer to yourself as Pokey, or Peaches, or Honey Bear. And be mindfull of initials. I don't have to know her to guarentee Piper Palin was called "Pee Pee" in school.
And to my friend who named her son Teddy Graham Jones, no one's amused but you, and yes, I'll share my magazines my kids bring me to the old folks home because ol' Teddy Graham is still bitter from years of childhood torture.

And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on the and blessed them. -Mark 10:16

I'm sure most Biblical scholars will argue it's the children who were blessed, but I disagree. I believe it was the people He gave the children to. Every time I'm out and about with my kiddo's people always make a comment about having my hands full. Yes, I do. But I have a sister who struggles with infertility, so I would rather have my hands full than empty. And if ever I'm unsure whether God is still granting sinners grace, you only need look at my kids. They are all the proof you need. We have been through some mess, especially me and Lady Day. We have been homeless, lived in bliss until my husband started drinking again, then lived in misery trying to end that foolishness, including his repeated calls to children services out of spite, we've done well and have lived on Ramen Noodles. We've cruised in a nice minivan, and struggled on the bus in the middle of a snow storm. Our phone has rung off the hook with friends calling and other times, I've had to pick it up to check to see if it's still on. We've laughed together and watched each other cry. We've fought, we've loved and some days we just tolerate each other. Sometimes I can't wait for the school bus to carry them away, other days I'm counting the minutes until they come home. They seen so much at their young ages, yet I'm constantly complimented about them. My babies are always impressing people with their manners and good behavior. They're kids so they will act out, but the bottom line is I'm the adult and most of the time it's my fault, but at the end of the day, they still kiss me good-night, or want to cuddle with me in the middle of the night. Every time I look in their faces I'm amazed that God picked me. Every night when I fall into bed absolutely exhausted, I am grateful that God has blessed this sinner with 5 perfect examples of his grace.

It's cold outside. I hate cold weather, so I'm always bundled like I'm in Alaska, my kids are a different story. I had to give Lady Day the eye when she tried to walk out the door in capri's and practically ripped the shorts off my 3 year old who is the worst offender. Shorts? It's 10 degress with the wind chill! They are either 1/2 or 1/4 white and maybe that has something to do with it, but they don't like to wear coats and I always get looks. Every year I read about it on someone's blog, and I just want to say that I try. Really I do.

I have 5 kids and the hardest thing about getting them out the door is timing. If we have to leave at noon, I can't get them dressed before 11am because I can guarentee they will be undressed by 11:45. Why do kids hate to wear clothes? If our ride shows up or the bus is due, I can't fight with them over putting on a coat. My kids are not Satan's spawn. They don't run me or my house, they just don't like to wear coats. I will put their hats on, but as soon as my back is turned they come right off. My husband was the same way. Try fighting the "Daddy's not wearing a coat" argument. In fact, I've never known him to own anything more than a heavy jacket. He's the fool you see walking down the street in a t-shirt while everyone is talking about how chilly it is. My kids are the same way. But I still try. I know they are going to take off as much as they can, so I make sure to layer their clothes. I used to stress out about it until their doctor very bluntly said, "The only thing you get from cold is cold. Not a cold, but cold. You catch a virus from being around other people, not from being outside. If you're going to be outside for a long time, insist on gloves. When they get cold enough they'll put their coats on." So if you see me out and about with 5 kids in various bundled states, don't give me the evil eye, blame it on the White Man.

I sometimes forget how perceptive kids can be.
We were sitting at church Sunday and Jay (one of the associate pastors) was walking up to do the announcements and my Lady Day whispers in that sing-song voice kids get when they are teasing you, "There's Jay. You love Jay." I do find Jay incredibly attractive, but I have never voiced this to anyone. He and I have limited contact with each other, how did she know? So I did what any smart person would do, I denied it. She's such a brat!

I was talking to this girl who is 20 years old and pregnant with her first child. She insists that she will never drop her baby. I just laughed. My kids rolled off the sofa so many times they all thought their names were, "Dang, there goes the baby again."

I stopped at Wendy's on my way home and as I approached the bench to sit and wait for my bus, a little boy about 3 or 4 says, "You got fries?"
"Yeah, I have fries," I respond as I smile that "isn't he cute" smile you give kids. A couple of minutes later, he comes over to me again asks if "I got fries"?
I respond the same way, except this time, he responds by saying, "You give me your fries?"
What? I pretend not to understand because his mother will surely tell her son that's it's rude to ask strangers for their food, but she just laughs that "isn't my son cute?" laugh.
No, he's not really as cute as you think he is. In fact, I don't think he's cute at all and that fact that he's in my face begging for my fries, makes him a little brat too.
"You give me your fries?"
"Hell nawh, Shorty. We ain't cool like that, so back up off my fries. And tell your moms to take a parenting class."

Don't you just hate mommy blogs that are full of pictures of their kids, especially when their kids are not so cute? I know you're supposed to say that all kids are cute, but some of you know what I'm talking about, right?

I really do have the coolest kids in the world. My 16-month old just loves to be in my presense and always has the biggest open-mouthed smile for me. He will visit me without fail every week when I'm in a home wearing diapers again. My 2 year old likes to take care of me, but as an afterthought. He'll visit every other week provided he doesn't have a hot date, but at least he'll call. My 5 year will be the one to take care of me. He'll know all the nurses by name, bring me books and magazines and enlist his church to put me on the visiting list. My daughter, my Lady Day, she's so cool. I have a lot of pelvic pain with every pregnancy and this one's no different. Sometimes I walk like an 85 year old woman after she's downed a few, it's that bad. The other day, I get up after sitting for awhile walking like granny and my sweet 5 year old asks what's wrong. I tell him that my "stuff" hurts, and my lovely Lady Day says, "That's what you get for keep getting pregnant." Yeah, she'll visit me twice a year. Christmas and her birthday to pick up those gifts.